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(Friday, February 06, 2009-)
+8:04:00 PM]*
# Closure.-
29th of January.
Its all gone now isn't it? Feelings, efforts, touch, smiles.. only memories remain.
Ironically, memories form a part of who you are, and you can never control them..
They suddenly pop up when you look at something familiar..
Like the tree we used to rest under whenever we're in Sentosa..
Like the countless times I went over to Vivo to find you.. have dinner and just talk..
Like the train station we'd meet at, where I would anxiously see whether you would reach there on time because you tend to confuse the front and back end of the train..
Like Northpoint shopping centre, backdrop of our dinners, conversations and plenty of other things...
Cineleisure, where I spent the best days of my teen years, with the best of friends and company..
Starbucks, the site of our last rendezvouz together..
My own copy of the 1st couple ring we bought, because it reminds me of how you lost your own rings, twice, and you decided to keep the 2nd one, while I kept the first..
All of your 125 letters you wrote to me, because each one told me how much you put into the relationship, throughout all our faults and errors..
Our attempt at a couple album, because we had so many pictures.. yet at the same time, I know you're not the type to take photos as well..
The countless shopping trips we had together, where you'd ask my opinion on every piece of cloth you tried..
Den I would remember the quarrels we had, all the small and big things, whether it was about my shades, or other people, or my tardiness.. and then I realized that I could have done more..
Then I'd think about the Valentine's Day trip I planned out in January, because I wanted to see you happy.. a nice candlelight dinner at Jewel Box, a Cable Car trip to Sentosa.. Songs of the sea, followed by a walk down the beach.. a little bouquet of roses in your hand, and accompanied by a new set of rings.. nothing and no one else except the 2 of us...
And then I remembered how much hurt I've caused you, unknowingly damaging myself too...
I've never had any ill thoughts of you.. no matter what happened.. because I could have done stuff to drive you to that extent..
You must be thinking of how I go to sleep comfortably every night..
Whereas in reality, I'm wide-awake at night, staring at a blank ceiling, which reflects the exact state of my inner self.. just blank.
Those nights, my mind plays havoc with my heart.. During the day, my heart runs circles inside my head..
Maybe its our age gap..
Maybe its our mentality gap..
But whatever it is, these past almost-3 years have been wonderful with you, throughout all the good and bad times...
There's not one memory I don't like..
And I do recall, you asked me this before.. several times in fact;
"When did you fall for me?"
How can I explain that? But recently, I recall a distinct moment that cemented you somewhere in me..
I was feeling down that day in Cine.. and no matter what I did, what game I played, what joke I said, everything seemed so flat..
and then you came up to me, smiled and said..
"Don't worry! Just cheer up okay?"
That's when you had me.
and 29th of January, was when I lost a part of me..
you.
the story ends like this;
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