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(Monday, June 28, 2004-)
+9:11:00 PM]*
# Ngee Ann Poly: Reloaded-
Today start my 2nd year le....kaoz....same like last year....first day all the lessons cheat my feelings one....all end one and a half hours early....den rot in Canteen One.....kaoz....haha.....today saw all my Poly frens.....all a lot change sia....all damn good-looking now....Kok Hai got bike....I never did see wad bike it was....haha....unlike me....too chicken to get a bike license....but waiting for my parents sponsor driving lessons....LoL....haiz....today feels so normal....but I was so hyped up to go to school b4 dat....but its okay! Tommorrow I going for volleyball session wif SQ! Yeah....at last get to touch volleyball again!!!! so long since I last touched a volleyball.....missed that feeling of satisfaction when u set a nice ball for the spiker to hit....WHACK~! hahahahaha....can't wait for tomorrow~!!!
<<<<<< 2 days to Spiderman 2!!! >>>>>>
the story ends like this;
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(Sunday, June 27, 2004-)
+8:36:00 PM]*
# Mendak...-
The topic means veri veri veri bland....which can describe the week I had....wow....it was the most exciting week of the year...not....my fever completely disappeared...together wif the stinging headache....I felt so relieved....thank God for the medicine the doctor gave me....the onli thing I have left to do is go for that high blood pressure check up in 1 week's time.....so nervous...also met up wif a few old friends too....Wanfen didn't change much....haha....still can recognize her....also met up wif Shuyi and Melanie....it took me one whole week to figure out Shuyi's real name....in my HP it's Sherie....but I TOTALLY forgot her chinese name....maybe its because whenever I look at her the name JAMIE YEO keeps popping out in my head....haha.....she really looks a lot like Jamie Yeo~! I juz realized today I lost my Para form....suddenly I feel so "normal".....hard to explain it but whenever I dance it juz feels normal....no more kick....kaoz.....tomorrow school start le....luckily I onli repeating EG 1....I expected to repeat more actually... >.< ....maybe I need a new term resolution to work hard or something....haha.....juz finished talking online to my ex too....she is so sweet, willing to lend me a listening ear....but the problem is....I dun even know how to put my everyday feelings into proper words....I juz pray dat one day all the answers will pop up in my head....like dat will happen.....*sHruGs*...
<<<<<< 3 more days to SPIDERMAN 2!!! >>>>>>
the story ends like this;
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(Monday, June 21, 2004-)
+8:27:00 PM]*
# Reminiscence...-
Yesterday watched Chronicles of Riddick (or Roddick according the K.S ) wif my 2 primary school friends Marcus and Kuan Sian....a veri nice movie....we came in slightly late though....so we got lost of the whole plot for the first 10 mins....but after that the movie was thoroughly enjoyed....action-packed ah....den after that went to meet Huiting...went shopping wif her at Jurong Point....and I tried to most heavenly breaded shrimp ever~!!! Bought it from Old Chang Kee...damn nice~! Tommorrow go out confirm go find OCK den go buy again....haha.....today was a veri boring day for me ah....spent the whole day at home....neva go out.....nothing much to say about today.... LoL....
the story ends like this;
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(Sunday, June 20, 2004-)
+2:29:00 AM]*
# Is it O.V.E.R?-
Been away for too long from here....thanx to my damn fever and that stinging headache....could never type properly after eating the medication....so lemme summarize all the more important happenings for the past 3 days...
1. For the second time in a row I've been tested positive for High Blood Pressure (HBP)....in 2 weeks time when I see the doctor and AGAIN I test positive for HPB....I'm in hot soup....
2. My fever is going down....and hopefully tommorrow I'll be fine....its only the headaches that causes me pain....but weirdly its stress-induced....
3. I FOUND MARCUS CHUI MY OLD PRIMARY SCHOOL FRIEND~!!! (or more like he found me....) Haven seen this guy for 9 LONG YEARS....and to think that he lives a mere 10 minute walk away from me....fate does have a way to play wif ur feelings doesn't it?
4. Today I saw Peiyu....and I didn't react the way I did when I was at Park Lane....;juz simply talked and smiled at her.....the sight of her still tugs my heart-strings.....but it doesn't hurt....not that much anyway.....oddly enough.....when she smiled at me I was attacked by 7 waves of headaches....haha....kinda stupid actually....gotta dunk more of those headache pills tonite.....
Yup...there u have it....the 4 most important things that happened for the past 3 days....damn....so bored man....
the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, June 17, 2004-)
+11:14:00 AM]*
# 38.1-
<11.28> My temperature's betta now....and yesterday when my mum tested me for high blood pressure....the doc was right...I do have a borderline case of high blood pressure...whoa....this is definitely not good....still haven't eaten my breakfast...haven take my morning medicine dose....I betta go now...if not later Huiting scold me....haha.....
the story ends like this;
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(Wednesday, June 16, 2004-)
+10:59:00 AM]*
# 39.2-
I can't believe this man....I'm having high fever again....kaoz....this morning 39.2....yesterday 39.6....haiz...doctor also told me I got high blood pressure...and I'm only 19....so sad man....and speaking of sad....I did veri stupid things yesterday..
I've decided to cut out the "her" and the "she"...I think its best I get straight to the point...
I saw Peiyu yesterday at Park Lane....that numb can't-be-bothered feeling was gone....coz I resolved to get on better terms wif her....but something was holding me back....she said hi to me....and I juz gave her a weak smile and a weak hello wave...den I juz joined my friends at Mac den went to the arcade watch them play Initial D...half an hour later we went to play pool...Syazwan took table 6....which happens to be right beside where Peiyu and her friends were playing...I really wanted to say hi to her...tell her all the things I kept in my heart....but instead....I put on a black face and played pool....I caught myself staring at her while she was playing....she's so cute when she's playing pool....but whenever she looks at table 6's way I juz act as though I'm fully concentrating on the game....she went to talk to Fajar...I was so distracted I onli potted 2 out of 7 shots....haiz....den she went off....onli Cecilia said bye to me....Peiyu juz walked off....
Half an hour later me and buddies stopped playing....and went back to the arcade play Initial D....in front of the arcade was this place selling drums stuff....and beside it was a billiards room....I bought a drink...and was looking at the drum sets in the display window...when suddenly she and Cecilia walked out of the billiards room....they walked behind me straight to god knows where....but I was looking at her thru the glass reflection....
It's damn sad....I really cherish her a lot....yet I find it hard to get on better terms wif her....I felt really sorry about my behaviour yesterday....but wad's done cannot be undone....
the story ends like this;
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(Monday, June 14, 2004-)
+2:16:00 PM]*
# Orange's birthday!-
This post is one day late...but can't help it la....was too engrossed watching England & France until forget to come online....anyway....dat match was quite disappointing....how could Gerard give the ball away so cheaply like that...nvm la....still got Croatia and Switzerland to go...
Yesterday went to West Coast Park celebrated Li Ling's a.k.a Orange's birthday....celebrate one week in advance ah...haha....blardy BBQ wun start...luckily Jonathan was there...if not no need to eat....I had a lot of crabstick and sausages....and Aloysius has this cool hairstyle which reminds me of a Jedi Knight....haha.....he say's he looks like a butch...I wouldn't wanna comment on that! Poor Orange fell sick....kinda worried about her ah....and speaking of sick....I think I caught fever also....good thing yesterday Ajax sent her home....if something were to happen to her on her way home....*sHudDeRs*....
Today gonna mosey over to Ginza....Auntie Hamster's last day...haha....gonna buy her a box of Ferrero Roches...but does she like chocolates? maybe she's on diet or sumthin....den I'm definitely not helping! >.< ...onli one way to find out!
the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, June 12, 2004-)
+11:12:00 PM]*
# Sentosa!-
Today was such a fun day~!!!!! my trip to Sentosa was fun-packed! hahahaha.....went wif my Parapoonz clan; Fajar, Syazwan, Dzul and plus my other soccer team members; Ah Hock and Wei Xiang & a few of Dzul's friends, Fat Ben, Denise, Dee and their friends...reach the beach onli all the guys stripped and did a veri lame version of Baywatch and dove into the low tide waters.... -_-" ....we waited for the gals den swam over to the floats wif the slides...den took turns daring each other to stupid tricks....the water was shallow ah....low tide....so no fun @ all!! anyway we juz spent the whole day playing there...den me, Wan, Faj, Hock and Xiang went to eat at this Warung Pantai makan place....its like some kind of Macdonald ah....but selling traditional food....the Nasi Rainbow damn power! next time muz buy....den we bathed....a few of the gals left...den the rest of us headed to Plaza Singapura coz they wanted to see me and Fajar Parapoonz....so we did! haha....I saw "her" there...but that's a story for later....after playing (and making half the arcade look at us =x) I met Cheryl and the whole group went to Long John Silver's at Mac House to eat...havoc man....no one could stop laughing....even Cheryl look at us wif the "are u all crazy?" look.... >.< ....hahahahah...den here comes the best part....we went to the Dhoby Gaut arcade and I immediately sprinted to the drums....and Dzul and the rest played Para Para!!!! Dzul played his usual style ah....his karate chop....HAHAHAHAHA...Cheryl was laughing her head off...den we juz played ah....den Syazwan was saboed into being the victim of asking a gal's number....messaged her on the train....but she never reply....dao sia....I also saw Charlene VGX there....minus VGX....HAHAHAHA....onli she'd know wad I mean....
I said I saw "her" there.....yup I did....SUPER SIANZ~! I happily walked towards the Para machine and there she was dancing....kaoz.....haiz.....I really felt my heart drop into this bottomless pit....den again....I had this scary unexpected feeling....after a few moments I saw her there....I neither felt the pain...nor the happiness....wad the fcuk is wrong wif me? usually I'll turn emo den start growing damn sad and stuff....but today I juz danced in front of her like nothing at all....and the thing is....it's like I can't be bothered wif her....WAD THE FCUK IS WRONG WIF ME~!? I dun wan to feel this way AGAIN...the last time I did I burned the feelings of many of my friends and family members.....Chibs man....haiz....
I don't want you to give it all up,
And leave your own life collecting dust,
And i don't want you to feel sorry for me,
You never gave us a chance to be...
And i don't need you to be by my side,
To tell me that everything's alright,
I just wanted you to tell me the truth,
You know i'd do that for you...
Running Away, Hoobastank
the story ends like this;
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(Friday, June 11, 2004-)
+9:46:00 PM]*
# ParaPoonz Clan-
Today was such a farni day....went to Planet Paradigm play pool wif Joel, Fajar, Dzul and Syazwan....today I really on top form man~!!! My centre pot shots all damn zai....eventually out of the whole round robin tournament we played....I ranked second....haha.....and we played billiards too.....also on form~!! Muz be from watching Marco Fu play so often on Starsports..... >.< ...den after that went to Long John makan...talked a lot of crap ah....I remember talking about playing Para Para....and how Dzul and Syazwan were so excited about trying....and so we did...haha....we met Norman den went to the arcade at Dhoby Gaut MRT station....Syazwan and Dzul played Para Para for the veri first time in their lives.....and my goodness I was laughing my head off~!!!! so cute sia watch them trying to move to the beat at the same time trying to get the timing on the arrows correct....they failed twice ah....and Dzul was doing this posing cum chopping action.....HAHAHAHAHAHA....so farni.....den we also entered the XboX game shop beside it....all the games there damn nice~! We're goin to mosey over there on Monday and try out the new games....hehe....looks like next week's gonna be a busy week for me....AND....I'm going Sentosa tommorrow~!!!!!!!! YEAH~!! So excited....can't wait man~!!! Sun, surf, sand and babes...here I come~!
the story ends like this;
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+10:33:00 AM]*
# Not fated?-
Whoa~! Dead End rules~!!! My friend's band realli played good yesterdae.....awesome~!! They even had this song dedicated to homos in Singapore....damn cute~! Fast punkish rock....but damn nice~!!! After my morning dance session went down to PS meet Jexter and Jolene....this Jolene ah....laugh non-stop one....den I of course another one ah make her laugh like crazy....as long as she dun laugh until crazy can le.... -_-" but b4 dat saw Gerard, CK, Joanne and Felicia in the Dhoby Gaut MRT arcade....hahaha....they all so cute sia....cannot decide where to go....Felicia reminds me of somebody...but I can't remember who... >.< Joanne another one....hahahahahahaha...she got too sianed at the arcade watching CK and Gerard play VS3....and for me? I played 10th Mix Percussion Freaks...failed last stage because leg cramp cannot pedal....LoL....after meeting Jex and Jo went down to Cine watch Dead End play....den Joanne messaged me....telling me she saw "her" in PS...I was like stunned lor....so after the gig I went back down to PS....but neva see "her" there....really not fated.....haiz....
the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, June 10, 2004-)
+7:37:00 AM]*
# Another bad morning...-
Haiz...woke up at 6....though I fell asleep at 1 yesterday....onli 5 pathetic hours of sleep...kaoz.....how to stay fresh~!!! Yesterday's BBQ was a blast~! Lots of fun....really did meet up with the different batches of Jammers....everyone changed so much~! or izzit maybe I didn't change at all~? >.< Met up wif Botak and the rest of my batch...haha...Botak happy ah....P.O P.O~!! One thing's for sure....this is the first BBQ I went to that I was full damn fast....and.....I was right....Karin did forget my full name....LoL~! Then there was Hafiz....he looked A LOT like Jeff Corwin....but apparently none of the people there knew hu Jeff Corwin was...if you dunno den I got nothing to say -_-" supposed to have dance practice at 11....so I better not fall asleep anytime soon....hehe....goin to town to watch Botak's band play at Cineleisure....yeah....it's gonna be a loOoOoooOoOoOonG day...
the story ends like this;
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(Wednesday, June 09, 2004-)
+10:24:00 AM]*
# *sLeEpY*-
ArGh....sucky morning....woke up onli fell off the bed...roll wrong side....arGh~! It's gonna be raining soon...damn....den how to bring my laptop to school~!?!?!?! kaoz....sian liao wor.....yesterday play 9-Ball damn fun....yesterday Lady Luck shining down at me ah....Pity Wee Kian....He juz took one shot and I pot the 9 ball wif my veri first shot to hit the 2 ball....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......he sure wan rematch on Thursday...so I better go study more Francisco Bustamante videos...LoL >.< Gonna be spending the whole day in JTSS today....helping out the current JT Jammers for their performance in August...and den after that we're having a BBQ~!! I dunno why...I had this great desire to bring 'her' along...but dunno how to contact her....get to see all my Jammers friends~!! Erik, Lizza, Vivian and hopefully Vila will be there...not forgetting my da jie Qiqi and the batches of Jammers after us....I wonder wad they're gonna barbeque...
I don't wanna feel,
the way that I do..
I just wanna be,
right here with you..
I don't wanna see,
see us apart..
I just wanna say it straight from my heart,
I miss you...
Westlife, Miss you
the story ends like this;
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(Tuesday, June 08, 2004-)
+11:31:00 AM]*
# Truth...-
This morning....very early in the morning...I had a good chat wif Joanna....usual stuff la....her skool my skool.....den it just so happened that I told her about me and my ongoing confusion wif 'her'....I admitted to Jo everything that I kept in my heart for the past 3 weeks....they say that the old are wise, and that they have the best advice....I beg to differ...Jo made me see a whole different view about 'her'....The truth is....I've been waiting for 3 years....I saw 'her' go thru different steads....I felt the pain whenever I saw 'her' and her guy together....unbearable as it was, I held on because I knew 'she' was happy, and all I wanted to see was for 'her' to be happy...I guessed I finally broke down my resolve 3 weeks ago....when I found out 'she' had another guy....I simply couldn't take the pain anymore...and so I avoided 'her'...throughout that time I really missed 'her' a lot....yet at the same time....I was scared to feel that pain in my heart....the fear won....
While talking....I reminded Jo about 'her' smoking thing all those years ago...dat 'she' didn't wan me to know because 'she' knew I'd get angry wif her...frankly speaking....it still burns in my heart to see 'her' smoke....Jo made me see a whole different view...she said, "What if she didn't want to tell you because she didn't want to hurt your feelings, that she cared about you..?" I just stopped thinking there and then...I never had looked at it that way before....Jo told me I was the type that would keep things to myself...which was true....and dat I was also the type that would remember only the negative things....I didn't believe it at first...but I felt that Joanna was right....I would only remember things like 'her' smoking, and 'her' steads...but I never did think of the happier moments we had together...
I recalled the numerous happy moments we had together...like the way 'her' eyes shone when I told 'her' I bought her a bear for her Valentine's Day gift 2 years ago, the way 'she' placed her head on my shoulder on the monorail in Sentosa on my birthday last year, the way 'she' slipped her arm into mine while taking pictures in the waters off Palawan Beach, the times 'she' called me just to talk crap, the times we played volleyball she'd hit the ball wrongly and give me that sweet cheeky smile of hers, the way we talked face to face when there was nothing but crap to talk about, the glint in her eyes when I bought 'her' the stuff she likes, and I'll never forget that kiss 'she' gave me during the truth and dare game we had outside Bugis....and I realized I still kept the Valentine's Day card I 'she' gave me 2 years ago....when I remembered all these things...I juz broke down and cried....it's as though I locked away all the happy memories and let out onli the sour ones....I didn't appreciate those times we had...I juz kept it all away....
This 3 weeks have been a rollercoaster ride for me...I haven't been sleeping and eating well....but now at least a part of me wun hurt so much...as long as 'she' remains happy....I'll be happy too...
the story ends like this;
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(Monday, June 07, 2004-)
+9:39:00 PM]*
# B.O.R.I.N.G-
Spent the day at PS again....haha....my usual routine ah....went to watch Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban wif my mum, bro and sis.....den stayed on in PS rotting on the Rock Fever 4 machine....but while playing Outrun 2 I realized something....I cannot control an F40 AT ALL~!! Enzo's I can manage....completed one round juz now....but I use the damn F40 onli up to Castle Wall den crash too many times....dammit man....Harry Potter was a veri nice movie....the ending was a slight twist I didn't expect....but it was worth watching....and I gotta say Emma Watson(Hermione Grainger) is growing up to be a veri pretty young woman... >.< Today also got a lot of xiao mei mei's at PS....wad's happening man~!? and my Para para skills still not there yet....still feel tired easily...looks like Mr ParaPoonz will be retiring soon...haha....never mind....and last but not least....I saw a gal playing Para Para juz like "her"....haiz.....I still miss her....
the story ends like this;
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+8:30:00 AM]*
# The beginning...-
I'm not a perfect person,
there's many things I wish I didn't do,
But I continue learning,
I never meant to do those things to you,
And so I have to say before I go...
That I just want you to know..
I found a reason for me,
to change who I used to be,
A reason so start over new,
and the reason is you...
The Reason, Hoobastank
This song forms the basis of my feelings for the past 3 weeks....It's been a trip to hell and back for me...The feeling of not getting what you want is really bad...especially when you know you can do the best job of taking care of it...3 long years....3 damn long years....
the story ends like this;
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