You entered:
blog
(Sunday, March 16, 2008-)
+9:21:00 PM]*
# Human.-
I asked you, is it okay if I don't come down and fetch you from work today.
You told me, up to you.
So I said, okay, I can't make it, I got work to do.
and den you said, but I've been waiting so long for you. and den you question what I was doing the whole day..
Lemme try to understand.. you want me to make my own decision, and yet you try to sway me by saying that very line to make me feel guilty. then what's the point of asking for my opinon? You could have just told me you want me to come and fetch you, it would've the same effect. For your info, I ALREADY feel guilty. I got so much work piled on top of me. I'm doing my very best to clear it.
Sometimes, you make a promise to me. And for some reason or another, you can't keep it. You tell me. What do I do? I tell you everything's fine. sometimes I lie. sometimes its true. but its all because I DON'T WANT you to feel guilty anymore. I want to lift that burden off you, and let you do your own thing.
I just want you to know though.. sometimes, I NEED that too. I NEED you to come and tell me things are okay, and that you're okay, and that everything's gonna be fine. I know its a very trivial thing for me to be talking about, but I wouldn't mention it if it hadn't happened SO MANY times, till it even bothers me thoughout a whole day, sometimes weeks. WHY? Why do you have to say one thing, and then move on to do another?
You told me, that you can never be the perfect girlfriend. Here's something new for you. I DON'T NEED THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND. why? Because I'm full of imperfections myself. I know what's bad about me, I know my worse points.. That's why, all I'm asking for is, your understanding.. Just by telling me, hey its okay, no problem.. It can do a whole lot of good for me do you know that?
But instead, you prefer to barrage me with facts of why I shouldn't/should be asking you all these things, and den culminated with you asking me to fuck off. Fine. I can take that on the chin.
I want to be able to balance out everything. Work, family, you, friends... but do you think 24 hours in a day is enough to do all that? do you think I'm able to survive on just ONE thing alone? I DON'T.
People forget. even heroes need help. I may look like I can handle everything. I KNOW I can handle everything. But it takes something small to happen to someone dear to me, and I'll crumble like house of cards. and I've gotta deal with it all alone. and to top it off, the one dearest to me.. refuse to understand.
I'm just human you know.
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________