(Sunday, March 30, 2008-)
+7:49:00 PM]*
+7:49:00 PM]*
# DEBUT!-
The long awaited debut of my boots came today. But not for Team Impossible. It was my friend's team, "something" Rovers. Yes, I actually have no idea what the name is. But anyway, I marked it with a goal and 2 assists. Not bad for a guy with no stamina. lols. The thing is, the best part of my game came when I was NOT plying my trade down my usual left wing. I kept drifting into the center. Ah. Change of position I guess. And just to kek Jocelyn, I'll start referring to myself as Fadzregas whenever I talk to her. lols.
I think I stood a wee bit too close to that feverish looking old man. And now, I am having fever. Wonderful. Just when my workload was gonna get heavier. Damn it.
I think I stood a wee bit too close to that feverish looking old man. And now, I am having fever. Wonderful. Just when my workload was gonna get heavier. Damn it.
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
(Tuesday, March 25, 2008-)
+10:38:00 PM]*
+10:38:00 PM]*
# Flashback.-
I had a very wonderful trip down memory lane today.. but before I go further into that, here are a few recent stuff I wanna put up!
Here's the boots that I bought. Nice?
I wanted to buy the orange Mercurial boots initially, but I suddenly thought about the positions I play in now.. DMC, LB, ST.. I think this would be a better all around boot!
Known users of these boots include Fernando Torres, Rafael Marquez, Wayne Rooney & Michael Essien.
Next, Mecurial Vapour 3 Street Soccer shoes!
Cine's 2nd newest couple, Irving and Audrey!
Cine's latest couple, Darren & Shiying!
And Cine's OLDEST couple, Tiffany and a random fat dude! I mean me.
And here's Darren trying to get back in touch with his distant relatives!
Darren with Uncle Abe.
Uncle Abe's camera shy.
Back to the main content of today's entry.. I didn't go to work today. I had a course on Motivation to attend, and boy was it good! Even though courses like this are nothing new to me, this course stood out because the speaker was very engaging! He is after all, a world renown international speaker, and he books and audiobooks published in I forgot how many languages in over 22 countries. HE HAS GOT TO BE SOMETHING with those kind of credentials. Anyway, his presentation was all about how to motivate yourself, and MAINTAIN it so that you're able to live out your life fully with no regrets. His book is now a fixture inside my bag. I seriously know that whatever he shared with the participants today, can change the whole lot of us..
He spoke about how we shouldn't hold back, and just DO IT and not procrastinate on anything. Risky, yes, but failure is always part and package of life. Its how you perceive it. It can be a valuable learning experience, or a mountain you wouldn't wanna climb over. Suddenly, my mind was inundated by memories of lost / past stuff that I didn't do, that I now regret till this very day. It still haunts me whenever I'm awake, and all the way till I sleep. But he also spoke about how its never too late for us to set a goal and be on our way to achieve it.
Be it hard work, sacrifice or whatsoever, there will always be a reward at the end of it. My new year resolution has not been lost on me, but due to idiotic and uncontrollable circumstances, it been put put temporarily on hold. Not anymore.
I have a friend who's been working very hard for her future. The way she's juggling with her work, studies, projects, family and personal relationships is absolutely amazing. In my mind, she's a great example of a person who doesn't just sit there, procrastinate on how awful life is, but she just does it. Yeah sure she does feel tired, she'll complain a bit, but who wouldn't? The way I see it, its a form of letting go her stress, and then she'll feel ready for another stab at her dreams. There was this particular phrase she used,
I haven't been able to let go of this phrase as much as I haven't been able to let go of my regrets.
For those of you who know me since I was still a pimply kid back in secondary school, I know this is unlike me. Holding regrets. I remember telling my friends "hey man, don't be upset. Just let it go, and move on!" Ironically, that is the very thing I'm unable to do now. I dunno why at first. but I think I do now.
Failure. I don't like to see myself failing at something. Other than Math of course. But that's not the point. It didn't make sense before, but I realized that my regrets were actually past failures. or worst, things I procrastinated SO MUCH on, that it didn't seem to be viable anymore. why? because I was afraid of failure. I learnt about taking risks today, and how failure, repeated many times, will eventually lead to success.
It all culminated after dinner. I met up with baby, Audrey & Irving today, and I recommended we all go to West Coast Drive for dinner. Yup. The very same place I spent my childhood. Where my teenage years were moulded. So Irving drove us over, and I saw everything, changed, all new. but in my heart, I saw it as it was when I left 6 years ago. 6 years may not be long, but it was enough to actually push me to the edge of tears.
I saw the very pathways I rode my bike on. I went pass Pandan Reservoir, the place where I would just sit down, and reflect on me, basically being emo. I went past the roads I used to play on, when I went over the Erik's house to play during my Sec 3 days, to make masks for the Danceworks competition. I saw the old 7-11 I used to frequent, the stationary shop where I bought all my erasers to have "wrestling" with, I took a long look at the old houses of both my maternal and paternal grandparents, and they were instrumental into moulding me into the person I am today. I remember the mama shop that I used to frequent. Even up till now, the placement of their equipment has not changed, not even the decorations.
And then I recall my regrets. and then I realize, hey, its not too late! I'm turning 23 soon. 23's not bad. Its just simply a case of a late bloomer.
I'm typing all these down, because I want you guys to know that I have regrets that I wanna make up for, and that I definitely do NOT want the same to happen to you.
If there is something you have been dying to do, learn the guitar for instance, or learn how to improve dance, or even pick up a new language, just go for it. Don't let it fester in your mind that you might fail. Hell no, you won't lose face if you try and fail. However, you'll lose face if you DON'T try. why? because you didn't give it a shot in the first place.
and so, I've added to my new year's resolutions. and I've given myself a timeframe, dates included of when to achieve them. long term goals, short term goals.. Goals that I know will make me improve as a person, and increase my quality of life. Now, I've a beautiful girlfriend to lean on, and wonderful friends to support me.
Nothing's bad anymore.
This time, I will have NO regrets.
Here's the boots that I bought. Nice?
I wanted to buy the orange Mercurial boots initially, but I suddenly thought about the positions I play in now.. DMC, LB, ST.. I think this would be a better all around boot!
Known users of these boots include Fernando Torres, Rafael Marquez, Wayne Rooney & Michael Essien.
Next, Mecurial Vapour 3 Street Soccer shoes!
Cine's 2nd newest couple, Irving and Audrey!
Cine's latest couple, Darren & Shiying!
And Cine's OLDEST couple, Tiffany and a random fat dude! I mean me.
And here's Darren trying to get back in touch with his distant relatives!
Darren with Uncle Abe.
Uncle Abe's camera shy.
Back to the main content of today's entry.. I didn't go to work today. I had a course on Motivation to attend, and boy was it good! Even though courses like this are nothing new to me, this course stood out because the speaker was very engaging! He is after all, a world renown international speaker, and he books and audiobooks published in I forgot how many languages in over 22 countries. HE HAS GOT TO BE SOMETHING with those kind of credentials. Anyway, his presentation was all about how to motivate yourself, and MAINTAIN it so that you're able to live out your life fully with no regrets. His book is now a fixture inside my bag. I seriously know that whatever he shared with the participants today, can change the whole lot of us..
He spoke about how we shouldn't hold back, and just DO IT and not procrastinate on anything. Risky, yes, but failure is always part and package of life. Its how you perceive it. It can be a valuable learning experience, or a mountain you wouldn't wanna climb over. Suddenly, my mind was inundated by memories of lost / past stuff that I didn't do, that I now regret till this very day. It still haunts me whenever I'm awake, and all the way till I sleep. But he also spoke about how its never too late for us to set a goal and be on our way to achieve it.
Be it hard work, sacrifice or whatsoever, there will always be a reward at the end of it. My new year resolution has not been lost on me, but due to idiotic and uncontrollable circumstances, it been put put temporarily on hold. Not anymore.
I have a friend who's been working very hard for her future. The way she's juggling with her work, studies, projects, family and personal relationships is absolutely amazing. In my mind, she's a great example of a person who doesn't just sit there, procrastinate on how awful life is, but she just does it. Yeah sure she does feel tired, she'll complain a bit, but who wouldn't? The way I see it, its a form of letting go her stress, and then she'll feel ready for another stab at her dreams. There was this particular phrase she used,
"Ordinary person living an extraordinary dream".
I haven't been able to let go of this phrase as much as I haven't been able to let go of my regrets.
For those of you who know me since I was still a pimply kid back in secondary school, I know this is unlike me. Holding regrets. I remember telling my friends "hey man, don't be upset. Just let it go, and move on!" Ironically, that is the very thing I'm unable to do now. I dunno why at first. but I think I do now.
Failure. I don't like to see myself failing at something. Other than Math of course. But that's not the point. It didn't make sense before, but I realized that my regrets were actually past failures. or worst, things I procrastinated SO MUCH on, that it didn't seem to be viable anymore. why? because I was afraid of failure. I learnt about taking risks today, and how failure, repeated many times, will eventually lead to success.
It all culminated after dinner. I met up with baby, Audrey & Irving today, and I recommended we all go to West Coast Drive for dinner. Yup. The very same place I spent my childhood. Where my teenage years were moulded. So Irving drove us over, and I saw everything, changed, all new. but in my heart, I saw it as it was when I left 6 years ago. 6 years may not be long, but it was enough to actually push me to the edge of tears.
I saw the very pathways I rode my bike on. I went pass Pandan Reservoir, the place where I would just sit down, and reflect on me, basically being emo. I went past the roads I used to play on, when I went over the Erik's house to play during my Sec 3 days, to make masks for the Danceworks competition. I saw the old 7-11 I used to frequent, the stationary shop where I bought all my erasers to have "wrestling" with, I took a long look at the old houses of both my maternal and paternal grandparents, and they were instrumental into moulding me into the person I am today. I remember the mama shop that I used to frequent. Even up till now, the placement of their equipment has not changed, not even the decorations.
And then I recall my regrets. and then I realize, hey, its not too late! I'm turning 23 soon. 23's not bad. Its just simply a case of a late bloomer.
I'm typing all these down, because I want you guys to know that I have regrets that I wanna make up for, and that I definitely do NOT want the same to happen to you.
If there is something you have been dying to do, learn the guitar for instance, or learn how to improve dance, or even pick up a new language, just go for it. Don't let it fester in your mind that you might fail. Hell no, you won't lose face if you try and fail. However, you'll lose face if you DON'T try. why? because you didn't give it a shot in the first place.
and so, I've added to my new year's resolutions. and I've given myself a timeframe, dates included of when to achieve them. long term goals, short term goals.. Goals that I know will make me improve as a person, and increase my quality of life. Now, I've a beautiful girlfriend to lean on, and wonderful friends to support me.
Nothing's bad anymore.
This time, I will have NO regrets.
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
(Sunday, March 16, 2008-)
+9:21:00 PM]*
+9:21:00 PM]*
# Human.-
I asked you, is it okay if I don't come down and fetch you from work today.
You told me, up to you.
So I said, okay, I can't make it, I got work to do.
and den you said, but I've been waiting so long for you. and den you question what I was doing the whole day..
Lemme try to understand.. you want me to make my own decision, and yet you try to sway me by saying that very line to make me feel guilty. then what's the point of asking for my opinon? You could have just told me you want me to come and fetch you, it would've the same effect. For your info, I ALREADY feel guilty. I got so much work piled on top of me. I'm doing my very best to clear it.
Sometimes, you make a promise to me. And for some reason or another, you can't keep it. You tell me. What do I do? I tell you everything's fine. sometimes I lie. sometimes its true. but its all because I DON'T WANT you to feel guilty anymore. I want to lift that burden off you, and let you do your own thing.
I just want you to know though.. sometimes, I NEED that too. I NEED you to come and tell me things are okay, and that you're okay, and that everything's gonna be fine. I know its a very trivial thing for me to be talking about, but I wouldn't mention it if it hadn't happened SO MANY times, till it even bothers me thoughout a whole day, sometimes weeks. WHY? Why do you have to say one thing, and then move on to do another?
You told me, that you can never be the perfect girlfriend. Here's something new for you. I DON'T NEED THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND. why? Because I'm full of imperfections myself. I know what's bad about me, I know my worse points.. That's why, all I'm asking for is, your understanding.. Just by telling me, hey its okay, no problem.. It can do a whole lot of good for me do you know that?
But instead, you prefer to barrage me with facts of why I shouldn't/should be asking you all these things, and den culminated with you asking me to fuck off. Fine. I can take that on the chin.
I want to be able to balance out everything. Work, family, you, friends... but do you think 24 hours in a day is enough to do all that? do you think I'm able to survive on just ONE thing alone? I DON'T.
People forget. even heroes need help. I may look like I can handle everything. I KNOW I can handle everything. But it takes something small to happen to someone dear to me, and I'll crumble like house of cards. and I've gotta deal with it all alone. and to top it off, the one dearest to me.. refuse to understand.
I'm just human you know.
You told me, up to you.
So I said, okay, I can't make it, I got work to do.
and den you said, but I've been waiting so long for you. and den you question what I was doing the whole day..
Lemme try to understand.. you want me to make my own decision, and yet you try to sway me by saying that very line to make me feel guilty. then what's the point of asking for my opinon? You could have just told me you want me to come and fetch you, it would've the same effect. For your info, I ALREADY feel guilty. I got so much work piled on top of me. I'm doing my very best to clear it.
Sometimes, you make a promise to me. And for some reason or another, you can't keep it. You tell me. What do I do? I tell you everything's fine. sometimes I lie. sometimes its true. but its all because I DON'T WANT you to feel guilty anymore. I want to lift that burden off you, and let you do your own thing.
I just want you to know though.. sometimes, I NEED that too. I NEED you to come and tell me things are okay, and that you're okay, and that everything's gonna be fine. I know its a very trivial thing for me to be talking about, but I wouldn't mention it if it hadn't happened SO MANY times, till it even bothers me thoughout a whole day, sometimes weeks. WHY? Why do you have to say one thing, and then move on to do another?
You told me, that you can never be the perfect girlfriend. Here's something new for you. I DON'T NEED THE PERFECT GIRLFRIEND. why? Because I'm full of imperfections myself. I know what's bad about me, I know my worse points.. That's why, all I'm asking for is, your understanding.. Just by telling me, hey its okay, no problem.. It can do a whole lot of good for me do you know that?
But instead, you prefer to barrage me with facts of why I shouldn't/should be asking you all these things, and den culminated with you asking me to fuck off. Fine. I can take that on the chin.
I want to be able to balance out everything. Work, family, you, friends... but do you think 24 hours in a day is enough to do all that? do you think I'm able to survive on just ONE thing alone? I DON'T.
People forget. even heroes need help. I may look like I can handle everything. I KNOW I can handle everything. But it takes something small to happen to someone dear to me, and I'll crumble like house of cards. and I've gotta deal with it all alone. and to top it off, the one dearest to me.. refuse to understand.
I'm just human you know.
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________
(Sunday, March 09, 2008-)
+12:49:00 AM]*
+12:49:00 AM]*
# A new life.-
I am so proud and happy, to introduce you to the youngest, cutest, newest member of the Cine family!
Rynna Tan En Qi, with her proud parents Stella & Dickson Tan!
Coming in at a healthy 3.45kg, she's as red as a tomato, but still very adorable! and doesn't cry a lot too! My heartiest congratulations go out to her happy parents, and my blessings for a very good, successful and happy future together! The Cine gang will always be behind you. Rest assured of that!
What if I?
Rynna Tan En Qi, with her proud parents Stella & Dickson Tan!
Coming in at a healthy 3.45kg, she's as red as a tomato, but still very adorable! and doesn't cry a lot too! My heartiest congratulations go out to her happy parents, and my blessings for a very good, successful and happy future together! The Cine gang will always be behind you. Rest assured of that!
What if I?
the story ends like this;
________________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________________