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(Tuesday, April 18, 2006-)
+1:08:00 AM]*
# Yameni.-
Last Saturday I had my birthday celebration in Sentosa. It'd probably be the last time I wanna celebrate my birthday in such a big group. A lot of people came, friends old and new. Oddly enough, the old friends left first. The new ones, stayed on and made sure I actually had something to celebrate about.
Thing is, my birthday actually falls this coming Wednesday 19th April. But I spent days thinking about how to celebrate it with my old and new friends, people who can click together. Because my old friends now serve the country, and are only free on weekends. So I decided, let's make a sacrifice and celebrate earlier, to let my old friends celebrate with me too. Who was to know, one was not in the mood and bored, and the other, just not mentally there.
Old friends who have been through lots of bad episodes in my life, supported me throughout the bad days, suddenly thought that, Fadzli's birthday celebration, something I did just for their sake, was something that could be done anytime of the week, because Fadzli is born every week.
THEY LEFT, because they were bored, and wanted to go down to the arcade instead. I was truly greatful for the attitude you guys gave me. Seriously. THANK YOU. For leaving me, with my new friends, to celebrate my 21st birthday, while you, old friends, who form an important pillar in my life, go to some arcade and play with a metal stick and 4 buttons. Really man. Thanks for that.
One told me, he was not in the mood. He just came off the back of a bad arguement with a mutual friend. Aight. Can accept that. But was Fadzli's birthday celebration a day to be morose, to remember those kinda things, and be moody about them? Was Fadzli's birthday celebration so INSIGNIFICANT to you, that you threw your moodiness all about, almost spoiling other people's mood too? Have you ever thought to yourself "Hey, its my friend's birthday celebration. Why not I forget about this and enjoy the day!". Have you ever tried to bring yourself out of a bad mood yourself, if no one is able to help you? You, are the type of person who thinks that by being alone, your mood won't affect others. Well, you're WRONG. My mood was already spoilt when you met me, and when you came, I tried to cheer myself up when I saw your long face, hoping that it'd rub off on you. But did you notice? No. This may not be my last year on this plane of existence, but neither will my age will forever remain at 21. So this celebration meant a lot to me. You kept to yourself, being unusually quiet. You kept to one corner with 2 others, and you DARE say you were bored? If there was ever an award for the most lamest excuse in the world, you'd win top prize.
You say that I'm not treating you as a brother. Aight. So who was the one who tried to cheer you up when you got your NS letter? Who was the one to talk you out of depression everytime a female you like crosses your path and she ends up putting you aside? Who was the one who defends you, when other people say your attitude is worst than a fucked up ass? I bet you didn't know that. There are people out there, who are close to you, but yet think your attitude stinks. If I wasn't a brother, I would have told them "Yeah boy! He sucks to the core!" But did I? I don't. and I never. Theophilus maybe dumb at times, and only uses his brain once in a long while, but you are NOTHING like him. I never said you were like him. and I never will.
Amanda was someone who once meant something to me. So, I can accept its my fault that I turned my attention to her, because I called you down, yet I chose to spend time with her. Fine. I accept full responsibility for my actions that day. But I want YOU to think of how it'd be if you were in MY position, on that day.
You had a girl you really liked, and a best friend who was bored. You called your best friend down, so that maybe, you all could hang out together. Lo and behold, Girl-You-Like says "Hey let's catch a movie!" What would YOU do? Tell her you can't because you're waiting for a friend? Frankly speaking, I don't think you'd do that. You know what I think you'd have done? You would been confused, just like ME.
Yup I was confused. VERY CONFUSED. Which should I choose? I didn't know, I hadn't been in that position before. So I just jumped into decisions head first. MY MISTAKE.
Samantha, was another one. 3 months ago, I was going through the most fucked up period of my entire life. But you were there. And I was greatful for that. You gave me advice, yes. I ignored it. I let my heart showed me the way. And it showed me to Hell.
I burned, and I rised again. Now, Tiffany is the most important thing to me. And you, almost made me lose her. Time and time again, your mouth would screw up and blurt something you shouldn't. And it happened with Tiffany. Okay. I lived with that. You were like a brother to me, and whatever you said to Tiffany, in other circumstances would have made me hated you for the rest of my life. But I didn't. You also said some things to her that you shouldn't, I know. It disgusted me when she told me what you told her, but I told myself, "He's a brother. Ignore it. Carry on."
Friends come and go.
You used that sentence quite often in regards to our old friends from our secondary school days. But it didn't apply to us. But you, you voluntarily stepped out of my life. I didn't hate you. I didn't dislike you. But you explicitly said, "Well, I guess its my turn to go now"..
I never asked you to leave, but you voluntarily did. Goes to show how much our friendship really meant to you. A couple of days later, you hung our friendship over $31 I owed you. Friends?
I'll let you think about it.
the story ends like this;
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